Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
someone owes me an orgasm
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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