You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
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I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
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So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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