I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
