A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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