Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
