Grow some girl-balls and come out already
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
A+ Viking dick
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
