There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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