I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
