i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Randomize
