He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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