Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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