So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
