What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
