So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
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2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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