We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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