After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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