I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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