Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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