I am spending my child support on dildos
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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