You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
