you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
What a dumb baby whore.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
