brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
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The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
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I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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