the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
