i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
