Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
