two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
