Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
