dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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