I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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