There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
