Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
