a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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