i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize