Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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