bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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