I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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