im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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