Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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