No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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