Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
