My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
