just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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