That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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