Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
