Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
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