Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
