used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
This is classic penis vs brain.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
