He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
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He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
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He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
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