I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize