At least make sure they are 18
Why
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
