): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
