white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
