I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
