She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
