Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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