Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
