I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
