Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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