Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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