I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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