Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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