the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
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It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
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I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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