Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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